Golddigger
by Brother Bandit
Summary: Adventures of Edwin Venturi, Version 2
1. Chapter 1

Hey! This is Adventures of Edwin Venturi, version 2. First off, I'm removing George's continued trips to the strip clubs, and second ... well nothing yet, but keep in touch!

**Goldbug**

Chapter1: Discombobulated

– Edwin – (this denotes the point of views)

"Edwin!"

"Yeah Dad?"

"Lizzie's at Tae Kwon Do. Cab you pick her up?"

"Sure."

Hey, I'm Edwin Venturi. Welcome to my world. I live here in London, Ontario, and, believe me, with my brother Derek and stepsister Casey off to college, life is _sweet_ – except when you are in the middle of your teens, or if you have to be the family's new chauffeur, or if your dad is secretly visiting the shady district because of his mid-life crisis.

… Which reminds me …

"Uh, Dad,"

"Mmm-hmm"

"Can we talk?"

"Sure."

I led him to the dining room.

"Dad," I began, "You need lay off the strip clubs tonight, _please!_"

Dad spat out a mouth full of coffee.

"W-What?" he stammered, "I-I don't go to strip clubs."

I glare at him.

Finally, he sighed in defeat. "How did you know?"

I rolled my eyes. "Come on, Dad you're drinking coffee at seven in the evening, you must be staying out late. If that wasn't obvious enough, you're dressed in clothes you normally go to parties in, and I know there are no family parties this late in the night. Nora's not coming with you, so I'm guessing you don't want her to know where you going. Also, there a few places that Nora will disprove, and one of them, I'm sure, is the shady district down on La Poma Avenue. There's a large red ink spot on your wrist. And I know a place on that street that gives out a little red stamp to each of its patrons, which leads me to suspect you had such a stamp on your hands. So that must be where you've been going."

Dad gaped at me. " How did you know about Von Bayro's Burlesque?"

"I have a friend who is a nut at knowing everything on that street."

He finally stammered out, "And you deduced all that?"

I nodded. Dad's mouth quirked up a bit. "Who are you, Sherlock Holmes?"

I chuckled, "No, I'm better, but seriously, you need to stop going to those clubs. I don't want you to ruin your marriage like this. Please."

He sighed and sat down like a broken man, "Alright. I'm sorry, it's just that, sometimes I've been in so much stress lately. My children are growing up, and I just wanted to forget the fact that I'm growing old. I just feel so…_discombobulated_. You understand, right?"

I smiled, "Dad, I can say this on behalf Casey, Lizzie, Marti, and even Derek: Even when we've all grown up, we're still your children. We will always look up to you and Nora."

"Thanks Ed. I love you."

"Love you too, dad." I embraced him, remembering all those years ago when these arms comforted me in times of great distress. I'm gonna miss this!

When we broke apart, dad had a funny look on his face.

"Now, we have another problem," he said, "I just drank two cups of expresso and I'm as excited as a porcupine meeting a pineapple!"

I laughed. "Don't worry, you'll figure something out. Hey, Nora's probably waiting for you to crash her poker group!"

Dad nodded, "You know something? I think I'll do just that!"

And with an excited beat, he jumped up and headed to the garage. I watched him with amusement as he peeled out of the driveway like a teenager off for a date. Heh heh, the irony of it all, he looked twenty years younger!

I chuckled and grabbed my own keys… now, to fetch my favorite stepsister.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The Thin Man

I pulled my Blue Mustang Coupe into a parking space, and then got out. I entered the main dojo just in time to watch Liz's match against another girl. I smiled; Lizzie has been practicing tae kwon do for seven years now, and I do say, she far surpasses her black belt.

Her adversary attacked first, sending out a flurry of scissor kicks; Lizzie dodged them all. Frustrated, the girl countered with with a roundhouse to the midsection, only to receive a kick to the chest. She tried again, sending a straight kick, but Lizzie caught the leg and whirled around, delivering a nasty horse kick into her opponents solar plexus. The people around me groaned as the girl doubled over with pain. With cool efficiency, Liz finished off with a devastating axe kick and sent her to the mat out cold.

The spectators applauded, as Lizzie calmed herself and bowed.

When the instructor called it quits, I called out her name, and she immediately turned around and greeted me with a smile that can only be described as "Hearts on Fire".

Lizzie, my partner in crime, my best friend in the world.

If I would be Sherlock Holmes, then she would most certainly be my Dr. Watson. However, I doubt that Holmes and Watson were ever as in love with each other as Lizzie and I were.

Oh. Right.

Did I mention that I'm dating my step-sister?

Lizzie rushed upon me and enveloped me in one her warmest hugs.

"You came!" She exclaimed.

"Of course I did. How else are you going home?"

She smacked me. "Nutcase!"

I laughed and kissed her.

Just than, two of Lizzie's peers walked by. "Don't worry, Jenny," one of them said, "I'll help you find it."

The girl named Jenny was clearly agitated she probably lost something valuable. Lizzie must have thought of that too, because she leaned into me and said, "Hey, mind helping these poor girls out a little? I'd really want to see your sleuthing talent."

"All right," I broke away and turned around, "Excuse me ladies," – The girls turned around curiously – "I hear that you're looking for something. Perhaps I can be of an assistance."

Jenny's friend scoffed, "Please, as if you could. Like you would know where her charm bracelet is."

I smirked. "Try me."

The two girls eyed me with suspicion. "Who are you?" Jenny asked.

"I'm Edwin V. I'm sort of an amateur detective

"How can you help me, you don't even know me."

"Just answer some of my questions and I'll figured it out."

The girl hesitated. "Come on," I assured her, "You've got nothing else to loose."

Convinced, the girl began her tale. "Okay, it's my charm bracelet," she said, "It's my most valuable possession, but now, I can't find it."

I nodded. "Where did you last see it?"

"In my bedroom, while I was putting on my uniform."

"How far do you live from here?"

"I'm not sure."

"Where do you live?"

Her friend frowned at me. "How does that matter."

I gave a her a look "Every detail is important" I motioned for Jenny to continue. She told me an address that clearly was not walking distance from here.

"Interesting," I said, "What time did you leave for Tae Kwondo ?"

She pursed her lips, "Around four-ish ... four thirty."

A picture was forming in my mind.

"And how did you get here?"

Her friend answered for her, "I picked her up and we came together."

I nodded, "What's your name?"

"Dana" she replied.

"Dana, did you get here on time?"

"No, we were a bit late."

"By how much?"

She hesitated. I glanced at Lizzie. She was always aware of what goes on in her class.

"They arrived four to five minutes after class started," Liz answered for Dana, "Like they usually do." Dana stuck her tongue at Liz.

I smiled. Perfect!

"Okay, last question, Jenny," She turned to me, "What else did you bring with you in your purse?"

"I brought my phone, house keys, and some cash."

"Can I see your bag please."

Nodding, she handed me her purse (a designer bag). I opened it up and found the keys, the phone, and the money. I also found a notebook – probably a diary ("How did that get it there?" exclaimed Jenny) – and some pencils.

"Fantastic," I gave the purse back to Jenny, "It's so obvious."

Jenny looked at me incredulously. "You know where her charm is?"

"I do," I kept my eyes on Jenny. "It's at home, in your bedroom, under your bed"

– Lizzie –

The silence was deafening. I watched in amusement as the girls stared at Ed like he'd grown a pair of antennas. Then, Dana reacted first.

"Are You Kidding Me?" she exploded, "Under her Bed? That's it?"

Edwin nodded. "Yeah, that's it. "

"you must be joking"

"Oh, I'm dead serious."

"It's not possible."

My boyfriend smirked, "I think it's very possible. Jenny if you doubt me, just give your mom a call."

Jenny eyed him suspiciously but took out her phone all the same.

"Hey, mom," Jenny said, "Could you check under my bed and see if my bracelet's there?"

Two minutes later, Jenny's eyes suddenly went wide with shock. She stammered out a thanks to her mom and snapped her phone shut.

"She found it." Jenny exclaimed.

"Where" Dana questioned.

"Under my bed!"

"NO WAY!"

Dana's eyes snapped at Ed, "How did you– How could you–"

Edwin's eyes twinkled.

"Think about it," He said to them, " You live about an hour or so away from here, and Karate starts at five-fifteen, don't leave until four thirty, so obviously you're in a hurry. It's four twenty, and Dana here is probably honking her horn for you. You quickly swipe everything on your night stand into your purse, Not realizing that your diary came with you as well. What you also didn't realize was that your charm didn't quite make it into the purse and fell onto the ground while you hurriedly left four Tae Kwon Do."

I giggled Those two girls' shocked expressions were just too priceless.

Jenny shook her head. "I guess I owe you one for helping me."

Edwin chuckled "Don't mention it, oh and word of advice, Try to prepare earlier for Karate, like this girl here who's in her hi an hour before. Just like her sister"

"Shut up."

I elbowed him in the ribs (lightly).

Ed sniggered, "Well, we have to jet. Later."

When we left the building, I wrapped my arms around his torso and sighed.

"I just love your deductions. They are so cool!"

Edwin smiled, "Thanks."

"And yet, when you lay everything out the way you did, it seems absurdly obvious."

Ed chuckled, "Of course, Liz, when you inspect everything closely. The world will seem frighteningly simple."

He kissed me.

It was well eleven when we got home, I took a shower and changed for the evening. As I came out of my bedroom, I heard the distinct sound of a violin playing a sweet melody. I closed my eyes to the music; my feet carried me up to the attic bedroom where Ed lived. When I opened the door, I found him waiting for me. Wordlessly, he turned his attention to his lovely violin, and I found myself swaying back and forth. My feet stepped in rhythm with his music; my arms found themselves on his waist, and the two of us danced to his beautiful waltz. 1, 2, 3... 1,2,3,... the Merry Widow Waltz held us in a tight embrace and drew us closer to each other.

Together, we danced into the night, just me and the love of my life. Until we were overcome with sleep, whereupon we collapsed onto the bed. And with a last good night and a kiss, we closed our eyes and drifted off into the world of dreams.


	3. Chapter 3

Special thanks to Dom-Jam and NotAContrivance for beta-reading this chapter. You guys are awsome!

Chapter3: Game's afoot

The Next Day...

-EV-

"You okay, Ed? You look a little down."

I sighed, "Sorry, Ronnie, didn't get much sleep last night."

My old bully chuckled, "Ooh! Did you have a good time?

I blushed "Oh, it's nothing like _that, _I

He patted me on the back in the way Derek sometimes (rarely) did.

"Hey, What are best friends for?"

I laughed at that.

Honestly, who would've thought that the guy who tormented you in middle school would now be one of your best-est buddies? And yet here we were, hanging out together by my locker.

Suddnly, the front door burst opened and Lizzie came charging in with Michelle in tow.

"Edwin! Ronnie! We need to talk to you in private."

I groaned; she really did love to make an entrance. Sometimes, she's so much like her sister, I almost feel like Derek. It felt like every pair of eyes were on us. Ronnie led the way to the now-empty gym. He shut the door tightly and turned around.

"All right, what's the problem?" He asked.

Michelle spoke, "It's my boyfriend, Teddy. I can't help but get this feeling that he's involved with another girl. Everyday, after lunch, he comes back to class very late, and every time, there is this funny look on his face."

Hmmm, this sounds suspicious – Wait, wait, wait, she's dating Teddy?

"Wait, wait, wait... you're dating Teddy?"

"Uh, yeah..."

I gaped at her and completely missed Lizzie's warning.

"I-I'm sorry... I guess I'm just a little surprised. Why are you dating him? I mean, Teddy's not exactly known for his fidelity, you know?" That was the understatement of the century, he makes "Triple D" Derek look like a saint. Figures that kid's always trying to steal my brother's thunder.

"Ed-win!"Lizzie growled.

Michelle's cheeks turned red. "Maybe this was a bad idea,"

"No! Ed will help us ... Won't you Edwin!"

Oh god! There are precious few things that can have me shaking in my shoes; angry Lizzie was one of them. The way she was glaring so fiercely at me... it was both frightening... and downright sexy.

"Yes, of course!" I squeaked, "How can we help?"

"I want you guys to tail Teddy, "See where he goes everyday."

Ronnie nodded. "Alright, we'll look into it, but we don't work for free," He chuckled, "Not even for ex-girlfriends."

I rolled my eyes,

I better explain: when I was a happy seventh grader, I was dating Michelle. Meanwhile, I had asked Lizzie to intimidate Ronnie with her Tae Kwon Do Moves. Well, I guess he was actually rather impressed because the next day, he asked her out.

Lizzie sighed, "Fine, name your price."

"Let's see, how 'bout 40 dollars? 10 dollars up-front."

Lizzie narrowed her eyes. "That's a lot."

He shrugged, "Hey, there's no such thing as a free lunch. Good service comes with a price. So how 'bout it?" I rolled my eyes.

"Don't worry, Shylock, you'll get your pound of flesh."

Ronnie laughed, and rubbed his hands together gleefully.

….Later at lunch...

We found Teddy sitting at the tables with a bunch of his friends.

"There he is," Ronnie said. We sat a couple of tables away from our target who was still oblivious to our presence."

Suddenly, Teddy stood and left his friends.

I smirked, "Let's go."

We stood up and followed our mark. Down the hallway he went, stopping in front of the girl's bathroom, and as we hid behind a row of lockers, he stopped, looked around nervously, and then walked in.

"Whoa, did you see that?" Ronnie breathed, "Good thing he didn't see us. This is gonna be interesting."

The old clanker rang just as we managed to squeeze into the janitor's closet across the hall. There we waited, our ears peeled for any sound.

Suddenly, there came the sound of a door opening. Ronnie and I peeked out the door just in time to see a girl enter the same bathroom.

Minutes passed, and there was silence for a moment.

Then, just as I was about to say something, there suddenly came strange sounds … strange, yet oh so disgustingly familiar.

"Ugh!" I wrinkled my nose in disgust; it was the gut-wrenching sound of public fornication.

"Oh my god! That little whore!"

There was nothing we could do to drown out the moaning. It seeped from the bathroom walls and invaded our ears. It was worse than amateur porn. We sat in that crucible with our ears covered, Ronnie laughing quietly to himself. Fifteen minutes later, all sounds ceased and then Teddy came out with a big fat smile plastered on his face.

"Jeez Louise!" I sighed, "I'm sure glad that's over."

Eh heh, famous last words! As I was about to open the door, the pit-pat-pattering of footsteps echoed through the empty hall, and another boy came lumbering down the hall.

"He's not…"

The boy entered the girls' bathroom.

"Oh fuck!"

All too soon, we were once again subjected the un-silent treatment.

Five excruciating minutes later, the boy came out, a waddle in his step. One look on his face told me everything: he looked as though Christmas came early this year.

Ronnie laughed. "We better go before there's more."

I blanched, "More!"

We got out of that janitor's closet as quickly as we could. Ronnie chuckled as we ran. "Wait 'til Lizzie hears about this! She's gonna be pissed!"

….LM...

"WHAT!"

It was afternoon, and Ed, Ronnie and I were walking down to our last classes.

"Oh that skanky little bitch," I rubbed my temple, "Listen. I want you to find out who the hell this girl is."

Ronnie nodded. "Sure, I've got some connections. I'll see what I can do."

"What about Michelle?" Ed asked

We stopped at the classroom door.

"Well, I'm going to tell her right now. After all, she is in History with me." Ronnie said, "No doubt she'll want a piece of Teddy's behind. Later!"

"Bye!" we chorused.

I sighed and snuggled into Ed's warm arm.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing. Just a rough day."I said, "Tanya, she's troubled me for the past six years."

"What is it this time?" He asked.

"She's trying to get the others to vote me off the team."

"Again, why?"

I shrugged. "She knows about us. She tried to convince everyone else that I was a freak for dating my step-brother."

Ed kissed kiss hair. "Don't worry about it. The team wouldn't kick you off just for this. Freak or not, you are indispensable out there!

"And besides, she's just jealous that she doesn't have a Venturi hang on her shoulders."

Oh god! I rolled my eyes "Shut it Ed, your ego is as big as your brother's"

He chuckled. "Oh, but that's why you love me." He bent down and pressed his lips hard onto mine.

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